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who can tell me tomorrow morning say good morning?

My father looked me in the eye no more.
My mother is drinking again.

Actually, I know this is not the second is because of me. But it gives me the feeling that it is because of me.

My first brother, cursed for life
My second brother, midlife crisis
My third brother, lost in the fronts
my sister to live disabled.

And I? I have my Forq, I have my graduation and I am studying. I'm not on record, was never made by the police after house and have never noticed a negative. But am gay. And so viciously for my father fell ill, even vll dead, I can understand that people told me was for him I am the stars shine in the family now, I fall far below the others. Just because I want to live in freedom?
Why is my family, are predestined to fail forever? Why do they do anything right? Why can not they handle money? Why did they break their goals? Why do they not use their potential? They are smarter than me, better grades and I can still talk into the ground. You are not stupid, but why do they behave?
distancing the people from me, because I also seem to fall?
alk first, then party, then smoking, now gay, drug soon, soon uniabbruch soon anachist, sometimes criminal, and finally the drug or Freitot? What do the people who left me in me? My ex-best thinking she was surprised that I'm not party because I'm learning for the university and have to get out early. If one does not have believed me?
acts like I have on others?

have I actually lost a long time the survey.
If I put on my gas mask and see through the visor of the war, everything is clear. But if I stop the gas mask is all unclear. What are the Kolaborateure if they are not Kolabarateure? Who is this axis of evil actually below the axle? What try with their comments, the homophobes express? If my father does not look at me when he looks at it then? Why is my mother
begins to drink again? Why to distance the people and why I run after strangers? And above all, how do I appear to others?

story so far everyone has underestimated me most was: The next morning I get back.
I'm feeling that the other plan their affairs not so, are they back the next morning ...
Each of my problems I had, but every time I put into attack. The fight against the Axis. The desolation and construction. The self-discovery. The panic over Kevin and the coming out and finally the dreamless. I've thought about it and tries to find solutions to apply it and then also have to check whether they are really useful. My father, my mother, my siblings are the pear drink wake. Were they all so non has often in the hospital and even for more? Vll I guess yes it even, but they break off all their courses and degree programs, their goals and their future. I've gone ahead and stehtig now I go through my studies. Tomorrow morning I get up again, and will again be there. I wonder I know when I last in my family, am the morning then there is ...